Overcoming Public Speaking Anxiety

Let’s be honest – whether you’re leading a team meeting in downtown San Francisco, or presenting at a tech conference in Silicon Valley, public speaking can get your heart racing faster than a bike messenger flying down Market Street. 

Public speaking anxiety is one of those challenges almost everyone faces but few want to admit. But here’s the thing: that flutter in your stomach? It’s not your enemy — it’s actually a sign that you’re stepping into your growth zone. It’s like your body’s way of saying, “Hey, this matters!”

In our unique corner of the world here in the Bay Area, we don’t just talk about innovation in tech — we’re revolutionizing everything from urban farming in Oakland to alternative healthcare in San Francisco, from sustainable architecture in Berkeley to artisanal food production in Sonoma. And in this vibrant ecosystem of change-makers, your voice matters more than ever.

Here’s a common scenario: You’re asked to report back on a team project. Immediately, your brain floods with thoughts like:

• “What if someone asks a question I can’t answer?”
• “They’ll know I’m nervous.”
• “Everyone else seems so natural at this.”
• “What if I forget what I was going to say?”

Sound familiar? Thoughts like these can actually get in the way of your success and make your work harder for you.

Think of it like this: your mind is like the servers running Silicon Valley’s big tech companies. Just like those servers need the right programming to run smoothly, your mind needs the right mindset to help you shine when speaking. When you’re struggling to overcome anxiety, the problem often isn’t your ability — it’s the limiting beliefs crashing your mental software.

But here’s what might surprise you: the key to becoming a confident speaker isn’t just about mastering the “outer game” of hand gestures, eye contact, and filler-word-free speech. The real transformation happens when you address the “inner game” — your mindset.

The lie is that if we rely on just the outer game — no “ums,” timed pauses, forced hand gestures — we might end up acting out a script with no character. The result is stiff and inauthentic.

The inner game, however, is where the real magic happens. It’s our thoughts, our beliefs, our interpretation of the whole speaking experience. When your inner game is strong, all those outer techniques become a more authentic expression of who you really are.

Let’s geek out for a moment (we are in the Bay Area, after all!). A fascinating study known as the “Milkshake Study” from Stanford’s Mind & Body Lab shows just how powerful our beliefs can be. 

Participants were invited to the lab and asked to drink a milkshake. On the first visit, they were told the milkshake was a high-calorie, indulgent treat, loaded with sugar and fat. Later, the same participants returned and were given another milkshake, but this time, they were told it was a healthy, low-calorie version.

In reality, both milkshakes were identical. The only difference was the label and the way it was described to the participants. The study found that participants’ ghrelin levels, a hormone that regulates hunger and feelings of fullness, responded dramatically differently based solely on their belief about the milkshake’s content. Their perception turned out to be a crucial factor in how their body responded.

This same principle applies to public speaking—your perception dramatically influences your experience, performance, and—as the Milkshake Study shows—your physiological response.

We tend to treat anxiety just like a sugar-filled milkshake — it’s the thing that doesn’t belong in a public speaking scenario, a sign that things are already off on the wrong foot. But anxiety is just that — it’s a feeling. It’s our body realizing we actually really care how things turn out. 

And that’s actually not a negative thing at all! To care is completely human, especially when we know we have something important to say. So, instead of looking at anxiety as a judgment or conclusion, we need to retune our thinking.

Our mindset, or “inner game,” plays a crucial role in how we approach and perform in speaking situations. Our thoughts and beliefs about public speaking can influence our emotions, behaviors, and ultimately, our success. 

One way to do this when it comes to speaking anxiety is to take a moment to recognize that your nerves are a sign that you’re making things happen, you’re making good on a commitment to yourself to grow and face new challenges—what I like to call entering your stretch zone.

Here’s something that might relieve some pressure: public speaking isn’t just about giving formal presentations to hundreds of people. If you’ve ever:

• Shared your opinion in a group setting
• Pitched an idea to community group
• Told a story on a Zoom call
• Answered a colleague’s question in a team meeting
• Networked at an event

Guess what? You’ve been public speaking! And probably doing it better than you think.

Just as Bay Area startups progressively iterate on a good idea, you can iterate your thinking about public speaking. The key is making each shift gradual and believable. 

Enter the Thought Ladder, an idea by Kara Loewentheil — think of it as a climbing gym for your psyche. Instead of attempting Olympic-level climbs, we take small steps up that ladder, one rung at a time.

Here’s how it works: We take a negative thought like, “I’m going to completely mess this presentation up,” and start working our way up the ladder.

First step up: “Well, I’ve managed to communicate successfully before….”
Then take the next step: “I know my material, and that’s a solid foundation.”
Another step: “Each time I speak, I learn something useful.”
And up we go: “I’m becoming more comfortable with speaking each time I do it.”

See how each thought feels more believable than the last? It’s much more realistic — and effective — than trying to convince yourself you’re suddenly the Steph Curry of presentations.

Ready to transform your public speaking confidence? Here’s your action plan:

1. Start noticing your thought patterns about speaking situations.
2. Use the Thought Ladder to gradually shift limiting beliefs.
3. Practice in low-stakes situations like weekly check-ins or team meetings.
4. Consider working with a Bay Area public speaking coach like Coach Gina who understands both the technical and psychological aspects of confident communication.

There’s no need to be perfect — spoiler alert: no one is! 

One of the things about being a professional in the Bay Area is this myth that we run up against of the overnight success — the idea that a brilliant idea alone will somehow take us from working out of a garage to working in a corner suite looking out onto the Bay Bridge. But ideas don’t deliver presentations, and even tech geniuses have had to take the step of expressing their idea to others — nerves or not.

Overcoming public speaking anxiety isn’t about eliminating nerves – it’s about transforming your relationship with them. In today’s tech-driven environment where we may not even have the chance to talk to a decision-maker in person, the ability to speak confidently in any situation isn’t just nice to have – it’s essential for professional growth.

Remember: speaking anxiety can lift to reveal your natural confidence and capability. The key is knowing that managing the inner game of mindset makes the outer game of public speaking a whole lot more manageable and creates a foundation of confidence that will carry you through professional situations of all kinds

Whether you’re aiming to lead more engaging team meetings, nail your next pitch, or simply feel more confident speaking up in group discussions, the path to confident speaking starts with understanding and reshaping your mindset. And in the innovative spirit of the Bay Area, there’s no better time to start than now.